A portrait of myself done by my human companion. Crude but charming in a childish sort of way, I suppose.
I am unsure what is more offensive about this, the mindless slaughter of my brethren (something which I am hoping is merely artistic license however its certainly something I wouldn’t put past you humans to do) or the revolting idea that someone could have ownership of a bear. Ha, the very idea. It must either be one’s fantasy or they’re referring to the contemptible yao guai, who have no problems debasing themselves for human amusement.
Full view (incase its too small here)
I have this idea for a sort of one-page comic series based on Roger’s opinions about stuff. Because he has opinions on everything and Magpie is very inquisitive. I dunno, might not be terribly funny but might be good to let y’all get to know Roger.
This one is of Roger’s opinions on the afterlife and how humans take care of their dead (spoiler, he doesn’t like what humans do)
Why does Roger not have more fans, he is pretty much the best Fallout OC ever.
Humans have a hard time accepting the value of other species and actively resist acknowledging the superiority of other species. Such is the way of your kind. It is heartening to know there are some who can see past human conceit and acknowledge the superiority of my kind, even as little as human opinion means in the grand scheme of things.
Since there is apparently doubts about whether or not I am a bear, my companion thought it would be wise to submit a photograph of myself. I, however, don’t see the need to prove myself to you humans so I am not going to have a photograph taken of myself just to please you. However, in the interest of clearing up confusion, I have submitted an old photograph taken of me a few weeks ago.
I have some other photographs in my possession and if I deem it necessarily I will post them up here in the future. For now, this is what I have chosen to put up.
Excuse me? Just who are you and what gives you any insight into anything, much less what I am or what I am not? While I do not doubt for a moment that a human would desire to be anything else, please do not project your own vulgar proclivities onto me. I had the good fortune to be born a bear while you ended up as a self-important human to whom no one could bother to give a proper name.
Let us discuss the human invention known as the “teddy bear,” which is one of many attempts by humans to make bears seem small and unintimidating and thus make themselves feel powerful by comparison. It wasn’t always like this, however, bears were hardly seen as cute when humans still had to fight the wilds for survival.
First, a history lesson: According to human record, the concept of the “teddy bear” came about in the early 1900s. No longer requiring it for sustinence, the hunting and killing of animals had become merely a sport for many and no quarry was a bigger badge of honor than the bear. Like many high-ranking humans, the United States president Theodore Roosevelt enjoyed hunting bear. On one occasion, after days of hunting with no bear showing up for the president to shoot, the guides on the hunt found an aged bear. They ran him down and set dogs upon him but instead of granting him the dignity of a fight to the death, they captured and anchored him to a tree to be shot by the president for accolades (this practice is fairly common as the most proud of humans often don’t have the ability to perform any worthy tasks for themselves and have no shame allowing others to do it for them). However, uncharacteristically for a human it is said that Roosevelt found no honor in slaying a wounded old bear tethered to a tree and refused to shoot him in sport, instead ordering him “put out of his misery.” Apparently, the unwashed masses of found this to be the very picture of honor and compassion (nevermind that it was the president’s men who had run down the bear in the first place). Of course, an aged full-grown bear is hardly seen as cute so the story and image became more popular when he was reimagined as a terrified young cub. People found the idea of men protecting the cute little harmless bear so endearing it launched the demand for toy bears, giving them they name “Teddy”, after Theordore Roosevelt, the supposed champion of bears.
There are so many things wrong with this I hardly know where to begin. Leave it to humans to have such hubris to think the bear of all creatures require their love and protection. Honestly, I can’t describe how revolting it is to think that millions of humans through history were carrying around or even, ugh, sleeping with these bastardizations of of the ursine form. Look at them, with their tiny dead eyes, far too short snout, and human-like stance as though they’re the offspring of the unspeakable union of human and bear. Bah, disgusting. Further, its laughable that humans think that denying a bear an honorable death is meant to be compassion, how the practice hunting and slaughtering bears for nothing more than sport (and of course, monetary gain) is spun into something that makes the humans out to be the heroes. Animals are seen as merely props and chess pieces used by humans to gain something over one another. Which I could ignore if they used something insignificant, such as deer or mole rats, but I cannot excuse the human’s systematic devaluing of the bear.
In short, “teddy bears” are an abomination and an affront on the dignity of the bear. If you have any sense at all I urge you to dispose of them as quickly as possible. Of course, I’m sure many of you would prefer to hold onto them to boost your species’ already overinflated egos but I assure you you’re only making yourselves look weak. If it makes you feel powerful to hold such a twisted form in your hands, then so be it. You will be in for a rude awakening should you ever come across a real bear (and no, yao guai are not real bears).
Yes, I torture my tongue (figuratively speaking) with your human languages purely for your entertainment. But I assure you, I have no love for the NCR. They sought permission to use my kind’s image to represent themselves as much as you consulted the bovine whose image you sully on your own banner. Though I don’t care much about the honor of bulls, so you do what you like with it.
Oh, a bear pun. Is that really what you’re going with? Oh my, I better back off before I cut a nail on that rapier wit of yours.
What. What kind of asinine question is this? Maybe humans and robots have time to idle about and think about such worthless things like “this rock is better than that rock,” but I have far too much perspective in this world that I just cannot entertain an idea so stupid. I’ll leave the petty ranking of insignificant things to those who have nothing better to do.